The life & times of the Lam fam: April 2012

Most people (including myself) like to Facebook and blog about the happy highlights of their life. You know- family trips, student of the month days, funny toddler moments. But, since this blog also serves as our family journal, that means it includes the good AND the 'not so good'.

A week ago, we had a major 'Not So Good' moment. Bella was mad at me for not allowing her to have a play date and her bad mood just escalated from there. I didn't give in to her tantrum or threats so she said she was running away. Being the wonderful mother I am (read with a hint of sarcasm), I replied "Go ahead".

Luckily, friends have offered up that they have said similar lines like "Let me pack you a lunch first".

I let her sit outside with her bike for a few minutes before going outside to convince her to come in. Well, she wasn't there but her bike was still in the driveway. It had been a very long day already (Camille had fed the dogs a carton of ice cream with frozen blueberries AND dumped out my vanilla onto her floor.) Needless to say, I was irritated since I thought Bella had gone back inside to hide or was hiding somewhere outside. After about 10 minutes of searching the house and backyard, no luck. Now I was mad (fear had not set in since I still thought she was hiding). Camille and I jumped in the car to continue the search- I was SURE that I would find her sitting on the corner. I even called Chet at work to complain about Bella's latest melt down. She has friends in the neighborhood but doesn't know where they live. After 10 more minutes, I realized that Bella was not hiding or sitting at the curb so I called 911. The anger was gone and fear was setting in. Earlier, when I saw her abandoned bike, it was a sign that she had gone back into the house. Now, it made me panic that someone had taken her in those few minutes that she was outside alone. Our girls never play out front alone or even get to walk to school alone.

The new neighbors next door offered to take Camille (Julia was already at a playdate). The police arrived in a few minutes and starting asking me all the normal questions and searched our house. I despised answering their list of questions, when I just wanted to be out there finding her myself. The first officer to respond even jokingly threatened to handcuff me to his patrol car since every time he turned around to ask me one more question- I was walking away. I wasn't going far- I just wanted to stand on the corner, hoping for a glimpse of Bella.

Despite my complaints of our neighbors in Maricopa, the 'good' ones rallied around us and were amazing. By the end, there were about 30 neighbors looking for Bella on foot and driving around. The new neighbor next door (who had Camille)- offered to drive me around while his wife stayed with the kids. It seemed like every neighbor was coming home at this time and immediately came over to offer their help. Each family immediately got back in their cars and were out looking for her. Even the neighbor across the street who had bought the house a few days prior and we hadn't met yet, was out looking within minutes. Truthfully, I had approached him since he might have been outside at the time Bella went missing and since he was a stranger, he was on my "suspect list" already. Obviously, he was a good guy and offered to help without even knowing my name. Another guy saw me sobbing on the corner, went home to get his wife and within minutes they had arranged for a door to door search with all their neighbors. We had never met any of them before! Our neighborhood is full of renters and foreclosures so it doesn't have the same community feel that we were used to. I like to whine about our neighbors- one guy only spoke to me when giving me his literature about the world ending and another house I am sure is used for a meth lab due to their completely empty garage and sporadic activity. So, I was blown away by the outpouring of these wonderful neighbors!!!

At this point, there were about 7 police cars at our house and many more looking for her. Since I thought that maybe she had gone into the wash (leading into the Gila River desert) behind our house, even Gila River police were searching. I was switching between complete break downs and disbelief that this was happening. I remember standing on the corner, my neighbor holding my hand and me telling her that with every minute that was passing, that I wouldn't see Bella again. :-( It had been an hour by this point (5:30pm and getting dark) and I was losing hope. Why wasn't she home by now and why couldn't we find her? Poor Chet was making his hour long commute at this point. Unable to help and letting his mind wander to dark places, Chet was a mess by the time he arrived.

After a LONG hour, the police notified me that Bella was found by an officer! She was found dirty, scratched up and walking back into the neighborhood, from the main entrance street into Maricopa. I was confused but so happy that she was coming home. The police car pulled up to our corner since our cul de sac was packed by this point. I asked the officer if I could run up to it (since he was the one who kept reminding me to stay close). He replied with a smille "Like I could stop you".

Poor Bella ran out of the police car, sobbing and straight into my arms. I can't describe the feeling and getting to touch her. Chet arrived shortly and took Bella inside. I later learned that he cried with her which really shook her.

Bella told us that she didn't plan on actually running away until I told her "Go ahead". Yikes- I felt even more horrible after that and lesson learned! Her bike chain was off the track so she decided to walk into the wash and into the desert (where we had never gone) and toward the main highway. (Since she didn't want to talk about it, we had to get the full story over a few days). She wanted to turn around but was lost at this point so she kept walking. When she saw the highway, she headed in the wrong direction for about 1/2 mile and them turned around. She finally turned around (thank God!), walked until she saw the entrance to our neighborhood, crawled under the barb wire fence that enclosed the desert area, and was finally spotted by an officer. She had walked approximately 2-3 miles at this point, all in a barren, remote desert behind our neighborhood. Even though it's just behind the houses, there are coyotes that live there (and can be heard daily) and the wild horses that we spotted there last year. Thank goodness that she wasn't still lost by nighttime.

This is the view of the desert area that Bella was in, taken from the road she was walking along.

*Because she was dirty and scratched up from the barb wire fencing, the officer also requested a fire truck at the scene to check her out. She was physically fine and I think even the fire fighters were confused as to why they were there.

After the commotion died down, we all went inside and just sat together.

Well, Chet mowed the lawn.

I think he processes grief and emotions differently than I do. I just wanted to sit and talk to Bella and hold her. He was so beside himself all the way home and just needed time to process it all. The wonderful new neighbors next door (who had Camille) brought us a huge pizza dinner (dessert and all) that we ate from all weekend since none of us were hungry that night. They said they couldn't imagine trying to get dinner ready after that ordeal. I still have not figured out how to thank/repay them for all they did for us.

All weekend, we were in shock (and still are). Julia was furious at her sister- it was a good thing she wasn't there to witness the panic and fear. All I wanted to do was sit and look at Bella. I kept hugging her, telling her how glad I was that she was home safe and sorry for making her feel unwanted. She definitely learned her lesson and was just as scared as we were. She doesn't like talking about the ordeal at all (didn't want to tell her cousins or friends) and doesn't offer up any information unless we ask.

This was the photo that I carried around to show what Bella looked like.

It was all crumpled up by the end by my nervous hands. It now sits on my dresser to remind me not to take anything/anyone for granted.

We are SO grateful that this tale ended well and will unfortunately never forget it.

I do need to end this post with 2 details that will be funny *someday*.

1. The police and neighbors also needed a digital image of Bella to send out on the systems and cell phones as a text. I didn't want to waste time and fiddle through my photos on the computer so I quickly chose the most recent picture taken on my cell phone. Looking back, I should have found another photo but I didn't want to waste another second.

The photo I gave them was a photo taken that week of Bella and her black eye.

Yes, my missing child had a black eye. *Sigh*

Bella got her first black eye from rough playing with her cousins on Easter. I had taken the picture to show Chet's mom Jackie how the eye looked the next day. So, now all our neighbors and the officers, had a photo of my missing child with the black eye who I had told to "Go for it" when she stated that she was running away. At the time, I didn't care one bit what anyone thought of me.

Now, looking back, I cringe a little.

2. During Bella's journey through the desert, she told us that she talked to herself the entire way and she said that she even annoyed herself. She is a talker but it takes talent to annoy even yourself.. :-)

Aside from Camille's birthday, my favorite March activity is the Buchanan/Lamis Spring Break adventure! My sister and her family (along with my parents) visit every March and every year it's the same- FUN, FAMILY, and more FUN! This year's visit was shorter than usual but you can't tell from all the pictures below (that was a warning for the LONG post)!

We met at the Diamondbacks Spring Training game for some baseball and Arizona sun! It was so nice to sit in the sun and just catch up that my sister and I didn't even know the game had ended! Out of coincidence, we also met up with Steve, Angie (&kids) and BJ (&kids)!

Camille, Elise, Bella, Braden, Julia and Will at the game

All our kids got on the jumbo tron with their dancing so Camille was trying to get noticed again. No luck but she did entertain the people behind us! :-)

The next day my parents, the crew went to the zoo while the rest of us were at work or school!

Suzanne even took all 6 for an 1 hr long walk in the neighborhood by herself! What a sight- especially with their "tough" looks!

The rest of the week was packed with backyard fun...

trips to the park...

I love this next picture- We asked Braden and Bella to put their arms around each other and they look so embrarrassed! We have the cutest picture of them as toddlers hugging each other (below) and were trying to recreate it.